1) I didn't get the internship I'd wanted. Boo. Oh well, back to the search.
2) I just started getting caught up on season four of Supernatural and OMG. SO. GOOD.
3) Speaking of, I saw My Bloody Valentine 3D the other night. (Why does every shitty horror remake have one of the Winchesters in it?) It was awful, cheesey campy goodness up until the stupid-ass ending. I mean, what the fuck was that? I was there to see a b-movie full of pointless gore and 3D death scenes, don't ruin it by trying to have a ~surprise~ ending. What ever happened to the classic slasher killers, where it was never one of the main characters secretly murdering or some guy who was tortured as a child unable to deal with his past, going crazy and murdering? I miss evil undead psychos with a thirst for teenager blood. Those were the days.
4) as promised, the companion piece to HBIC:TYLER DURDEN - FIGHT CLUB
We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.
WHY HE'S BADASS: Because he is going to fuck your world up. He is chaos and destruction and madness all in one pretty little package.
LEVEL OF PWNACITY: 5. Not bad for someone who's fictional in a fictional world.
SYLAR - HEROES
Looks like you're the villain, Peter. I'm the hero.
WHY HE'S BADASS: Back in season one, Sylar was my favourite character. He was absolutely badass. I love me a villain naturally, and he was the best kind - no tortured childhood or guilt and remorse, just a need for power, a want to kill. WITH HIS MIND. Also, eating brains? BEYOND fucked up! I was totally rooting for him. Then the next couple seasons happened, and well, I just don't want to talk about that.
LEVEL OF PWNACITY: 5. Used to be a solid 9 before he started skipping rocks and talking about his feelings with Veronica Mars. Damn you Heroes!
HOUSE - HOUSE MD
Who here doesn't have health insurance? None? None at all? Michael Moore was right. MRIs, PET scans, neuro-psych tests, and private rooms for all these patients. Fight the power!
WHY HE'S BADASS: He's a liar and a drug addict and doesn't give a fuck about rules or what anyone else thinks or wants or says. He's a rebel in the truest of forms, and on top of all that he's a motherfucking genius.
LEVEL OF PWNACITY: 6, straight up.
DANNY OCEAN - THE OCEAN'S MOVIES
You shook Sinatra's hand. You should know better.
WHY HE'S BADASS: He's my fucking role model, which is weird because he's a master criminal... but he's so much more than that. He's suave as hell. He is always five steps ahead of everything you say or do. He is committed and thorough and always thinking. He is funny and charming and seriously, fucking suave. Plus, he robs casinos. That's just cool.
LEVEL OF PWNACITY: 6.5. Points deducted for how shitty Ocean's 12 was.
GILES - BTVS
Unbelievable! "Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead!" Americans!
WHY HE'S BADASS: He's a librarian that saves the world. Enough said.
LEVEL OF PWNACITY: 7. That goes for Rupert and Ripper, by the way.
MULDER - THE XFILES
I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation.
WHY HE'S BADASS: Because this bitch Never. Gives. Up. How many years did he search for his sister to no avail? How many years did he hunt and track down any sign of aliens or conspiracies to get nowhere, or worse, to move one step forward and two steps back? He never backed down and never gave up and determination is totally fucking badass.
LEVEL OF PWNACITY: 7.5.
TONY ALMEIDA - 24
You may not remember me, my name's Tony Almeida and this morning you killed my wife Michelle Dessler. She was my life, and you took her away, and now I'm gonna take yours.
WHY HE'S BADASS: Not everyone can come back from the dead. And coming back from the dead only to become a terrorist taking revenge on those who wronged you, and THEN deciding to undo the terrorist organization from the inside out? Vengeance is sexy.
LEVEL OF PWNACITY: 8. He learned from the master you know.
DEAN - SUPERNATURAL
Dude, I full on Swayze-d that mother.
WHY HE'S BADASS: Sure Tony came back from the dead, but Dean came back from HELL. Where he ENJOYED HIMSELF. And before that he was already badass - cool car, good taste in music, wicked oneliners... and handles guns great while killing demons. Really, really cool car actually.
LEVEL OF PWNACITY: 8, and increases with every witty remark (or Eye of the Tiger singalong).
DWIGHT - SIN CITY
I'm Shellie's new boyfriend and I'm out of my mind. If you so much as talk to her or even think her name, I'll cut you in ways that'll make you useless to a woman.
WHY HE'S BADASS: Like he said, he's out of his mind. He isn't afraid to take on an entire corrupt police force in defence of his machine gun toting prostitute girlfriend. Plus, he's Clive fucking Owen. That man oozes badassery.
LEVEL OF PWNACITY 8.5
DEXTER - DEXTER
There's something strange and disarming about looking at a homicide scene in the daylight of Miami. It makes the most grotesque killings look staged, like you're in a new and daring section of Disney World: Dahmerland!
WHY HE'S BADASS: He's a fucking SERIAL KILLER. REALLY. FOR REAL. HE MURDERS PEOPLE. LOTS OF THEM. Ties them up, tortures them, cuts them up into little pieces then GETS AWAY WITH IT. If it were real life I'd be terrified, but it's tv so it's just awesome and kind of hot.
LEVEL OF PWNACITY: 8.5. Seriously, I shouldn't find him this hot, but I really, really, do.
SPIKE - BTVS
You know, you take the killing for granted, and then it's gone, and you're like, I wish I'd appreciated it more. Stop and smell the corpses, you know.WHY HE'S BADASS
: Because he doesn't fucking sparkle.LEVEL OF PWNACITY
: 9.BEN - LOST
Of course, if I was one of them - these people that you seem to think are your enemies - what would I do? Well, there'd be no balloon, so I'd draw a map to a real secluded place like a cave or some underbrush - good place for a trap - an ambush. And when your friends got there a bunch of my people would be waiting for them. Then they'd use them to trade for me. I guess it's a good thing I'm not one of them, huh? ... You guys got any milk? WHY HE'S BADASS
: He's Ben fucking Linus! He always has a plan! He mind-fucked everyone on that island! He basically committed genocide against the Dharma Initiative! He used a frozen donkey wheel to move an island through time and space, woke up in a desert a year later and ninja-ed some passerbys like it ain't no thing! And it wasn't because he's BEN FUCKING LINUS! And for the last time, where is Michael Emerson's Emmy?LEVEL OF PWNACITY
: 9.5. I've loved you since you were Henry Gale.BRUCE WAYNE/BATMAN - BATMAN
They told me there was nothing out there, nothing to fear. But the night my parents were murdered I caught a glimpse of something. I've looked for it ever since. I went around the world, searched in all the shadows. And there is something out there in the darkness, something terrifying, something that will not stop until it gets revenge... Me.
WHY HE'S BADASS: He's the fucking BATMAN. He takes vigilante justice to a whole new level. He's just some guy, some fucked up rich dude, who decided to take gadgets and technology and make himself a superhero to save the most fucked up city in the world. Because he's been fucking awesome for years before TDK and will be for years after. Because not even Joel Schumacher can ruin him.
LEVEL OF PWNACITY: 10. He's fucking BATMAN.
SAYID - LOST
I've worse things to fear than what's in the jungle. What I did today - what I almost did - I swore to do never again. If I can't keep that promise, I have no right to be here.
WHY HE'S BADASS: Do you remember that time when he was caught by the Others, and they had him down on his knees, with a gag in his mouth, and his hands tied behind his back? And then he swept his legs out, knocked an Other down and broke their neck with his thighs? Yeah, that's why Sayid's badass. (Not to mention, for at least four seasons he was the only one who knew what they were doing on that craphole island. Trooping around looking for something? Sayi'ds on it. Something's broken? Sayid'll fix it. Something bad happen? Sayid's got a plan. Jack'll take full credit, but it was all Sayid.)
LEVEL OF PWNACITY: 10. Yeah I'm a little biased, as he is my all time favourite character of all time (if time permits he may receive his own spam of hotness and torture) but come on, you know the man's a 10.
JACK BAUER - 24
Do you know the difference between dying for nothing and dying for something. That's why I'm still alive. That's the only reason why I managed to stay alive in China, so I wouldn't die for nothing. Today, I can die for something.
WHY HE'S BADASS: He has saved the world in less than a day 6 times. He saved Africa in 2 hours. What have you done lately?
LEVEL OF PWNACITY: 11. He sees your scale of one to ten and defies it. He's Jack fucking Bauer. The term BAMF was created to find a way to accurately describe his epicness.